Saturday, November 13, 2010
The Process of Unbelieving Lies
Who I want to be, or wish I were is not who I am. That is a mouthful. I wonder if that is the general condition of womanhood or is it just me who feels that way.
I have been putting off posting on my blog for a long while because I am disappointed by it. It isn't what I want it to be. I want to be a talented writer whose words flow magically across the page and enthrall the reader. I want to be a weaver of stories. I want to be a painter of masterpieces. I want people to look at what I create and say "Beauty" in their hearts. I want people to look at me, my words, my art and see light, see God.
Who I am is a little girl who has been deceived into believing she is not good enough. I have bought these lies. I am "not living/working up to my potential." I am not organized enough to juggle it all. I am not healthy enough or strong enough to manage. I am not clean enough. I am not worthy, I have nothing to give, I am not enough. I am not.
These are lies. I am in the process of unbelieving them.