Should, or want…which comes first? I find myself paralyzed between my shoulds and my wants. This week I should have done laundry and cleaned up the house to get ready for the company that is coming this weekend. What I really wanted to do was go to my art table and make. The conflict of emotions this created in my already overloaded brain put into a state of irritation and paralysis. As I result, I have neither done my housework nor my artwork.
In the “real world” women are expected to take care of the home first, and their creative pursuits second. I don’t think that works for me. When I make time to make, I always have more energy and desire to be creative in my caretaking at home. It I don’t make time to make. My energy dries up, and I feel bitter and irritated that I have so much and so many to care care of. My blessings feel like burdens. I can very easily lower myself onto the sofa, remote in hand, and shut out the world.
So, tonight after the young’uns are safely tucked in bed, I will slip out to the studio and make into the wee hours. In the morning I will vacuum….maybe.
In the “real world” women are expected to take care of the home first, and their creative pursuits second. I don’t think that works for me. When I make time to make, I always have more energy and desire to be creative in my caretaking at home. It I don’t make time to make. My energy dries up, and I feel bitter and irritated that I have so much and so many to care care of. My blessings feel like burdens. I can very easily lower myself onto the sofa, remote in hand, and shut out the world.
So, tonight after the young’uns are safely tucked in bed, I will slip out to the studio and make into the wee hours. In the morning I will vacuum….maybe.
